Thursday, July 30, 2015

Day 60- Worry Graduation

"It is almost as if a musician is trying to play a song on the piano, but someone else is holding their hand down on some of the keys. There is some space on the key board to create a musically satisfying tune, but not enough to create the beautiful symphony that he is capable of. The musician doesn't try to pick the hand up off the keys, because that man has won many of the same battles. He assumes he will win again, so what is the point. What the musician doesn't see is that he is the one who can create a symphony, and the hand holding it down is the one that is afraid to hear it."

I wrote this a year ago. I'm reading it now in fascination about my path and how I have increasingly found my power throughout this year. The power to remove the hand. To play the song of my heart without letting my mind hold me back. 

That hand wins sometimes. I listen to the voices that say I can't and I fall into a trap where I believe it. But I'm stronger now. I truly am. Maybe I'll lose my grip here, I don't know. All I know is that I've graduated from worrying about what might go wrong or what will happen if I do this or don't do that or say this or don't or whatever. I had my worry graduation. Yesterday or today I don't know when it happened I just know that it did. 

Today I celebrated. I created a day of laughing, dancing, loving, and of being present. I danced alone in my room with my windows open. I just don't care anymore. I just want to be free. I celebrated my graduation but also my life and just the joy of existence. It is a true joy and I am grateful. I am. 

Thank you. 

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