Thursday, July 23, 2015

Day 53- I Can Do This

I know that I can't be the victim anymore to everything I'm going through. I think I was created to understand every possible emotion, to feel all of the pain in the world, to know how to heal it. I don't know but right now Im healing myself. I used to give into the pain and numb it because it's easier and quicker but I can't do that anymore. I have to help other people that feel like this. 

What I'm going through is deep waves of anxiety and depression. It's different now than it was in the past because I know it's all part of a path. I have that awareness so I can see it as it is without becoming so victimized by it that I sleep all day, eat unhealthy, drink, or any other habits that drove me in a vicious circle. I'm out of it now. I'm committed to being out of it so it's hard because I can see it and feel it completely and it shakes my bones. It makes me feel like I'm falling apart which brings me so close to God because I know that I'm not. I'm not falling apart. I'm experiencing and gaining understanding and I'm growing, and I know that everything is going to be okay. 

I know 100 percent if I was to see a psychiatrist right now (with strict medical inside the box beliefs) I'd probably be put meds. It's the truth. Not happening ever again. Never ever ever. I can do this, I keep telling myself. Yoga is my medicine. Meditation is my medicine. I just have to do it more. I have to go deeper. That's all. It'll all make sense when I get there. 

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