Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Day 30- Inner Beauty

I'm on my way to California to visit my girlfriend Lori. And something weird happened this morning. I decided to consciously leave my make up bag at home. Something the past me would be freaking out about. There's still a part of me that would find comfort in having it with me, but I don't want comfort right now. 

I want to accept myself in the places that I haven't in the past. Which isn't comfortable but it's necessary. For me right now. How can i feel beautiful if I feel a need to make myself look different than I do authentically? If I am embarking on a journey of courage, than I need to commit to accepting and loving myself inside and out, and living from my authentic self out loud. 

Lori told me the first time she visited me in December that I don't need to wear make up. I thought that she was crazy and sometimes I decided not to but other times I just felt like I couldn't go out without make up. But then the more I felt loved by her and the more I loved myself I started to realize that I don't need it. Nor did I ever. And I'm not saying that makeup doesn't make me look better or prettier. Because it does. But whatever I look like on the outside has nothing to do with who I am. Nothing at all. 

Lori taught me that one too. Well, I knew that before, but she helped me to feel comfortable and to embrace the truth of it. She helped me feel comfortable to embrace my inner beauty and to shine that out. I love her a lot, by the way.

I remember when I was 9 or 10 I heard "don't judge a book by its cover" for the first time, and I loved the lesson taught on that theory. I believed it so early on. That who I am is on the inside, how can anyone have any idea what's in there by my outer appearance? Whether I'm beautiful or not on the outside doesn't matter. It truly doesn't. And I want others to know this too. To embrace their inner beauty and to work on that. Work on loving that part of you. Because that part of you deserves so much love and attention. Appreciation and compassion. Unconditional acceptance. The word unconditional is a key here. Love your SELF. The YOU that exist within the walls of your body. Then you will shine out so much light that it's all anyone could ever see, anyway. 

Another plus, is that not wearing makeup saves lots of time and money, and also leads to more clear and youthful skin. I kind of weened myself into this official decision to not wear make up, but it will be a new part of my 96 day journey. No make up for 66 days. No excuses. No exceptions. Not even if I'm meeting new people, going on an interview, or going to a wedding. This is me. This is my nature, my authentic self, and I don't want to give anything more or less. Just the truth. Just me. 

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