Monday, June 29, 2015

Day 29- I Am A Believer

I get really frustrated when I seek answers outside of myself and they end up not being in harmony with what I'm seeking. I've been researching and asking all over what to do about my diet to regulate some health concerns I have, when it finally dawned on me that the answer is to trust myself. Everything that hasn't worked, that hasn't seemed right, or that caused more disharmony was all an arrow pointing me to my own spirits voice. But I kept choosing not to listen. 

I affirmed this morning "I trust my soul" even though I didn't really know why. After I practice yoga I usually just write the first thing that comes to my head, and that was it. I believe it's about my diet but I also believe that my lack of trust in my soul is the trigger of the body disharmony. I am aware that the body speaks to us in metaphors. I broke my finger once an hour after I cancelled a doctor appointment due to my desire to be there for someone else instead. I ended up in the hospital. Take care of yourself, my soul was saying. It was a larger lesson than the fact that I cancelled the doctor appointment because it was a reoccurring situation I kept putting myself in. The universe will speak loudly if I'm not hearing it's whispers. 

I always experience disharmony in my stomach. Growing up it was a different issue. Now it's a new one. And the solution is partly what I put into my body. Because food is indeed energy. But on a larger scale it's what I feed my mind. What I feed my soul. Such as thoughts, emotions, actions, experiences. It's all energy. I'm trying to go around using the word chakras because I know it scares people away. It scares me away sometimes too. It's hard to believe in when my logical mind is heavy. I can't see my thoughts or my emotions but I can FEEL them. What is the sense of feeling? I don't mean with the hands. It has nothing to do with our senses. Nothing physical that I can touch. It's real. It's the realist thing that there is because I'm a being before Im a human. Therefore I can trust the sense of my being more than anything I can sense with my human gifts. 

I'm trying to be convincing here but I'm also actually trying to convince myself. Someone told me recently to dare to dream. To believe more. In what my eyes can't see. And I do. But the world is heavy so my mind gets heavy too so sometimes believing is hard. But it's who I am. I am a believer. I am a dreamer.Trusting who I am, trusting my soul, that's the journey I am on right now. That is the answer to bringing my mind, body, and spirit into harmony.  

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