Almost a year ago from today I was in Costa Rica on a yoga retreat. On one of the days when I had some free time in between classes, I went for a walk by myself along the beach from the retreat center to the shops. On the walk back, it started to rain. Down pour I mean. I had about 45 minutes of a walk to go, and I was already pretty nervous about finding my way. The opening to the retreat center was a little bit hidden and although I had created a way in my mind to remember how to get back in, everything was hard to see because of the rain. My contacts were completely blurred. My feet were soaking into the sand making it hard to move quickly. The ocean was taking over more of the shore.
I felt awake in a nightmare. Ironically, being that I was on a relaxing yoga retreat. But I also think it was universally set up for me to gain an understanding. I had experienced the Costa Rica rain before. It happened everyday. It was just a quick, hard down fall shower of rain and then it stopped. The sun came back out. But this time, when I was caught in the moment of the rainstorm, it felt like it would never end. Every worry and fear awakened. I forgot about the sun, which was still there, since I wasn’t walking in complete darkness. And it’s always there. I try to remind myself of this always. Sometimes I forget. I get caught up again in the moment. Sometimes the moment drags into days, weeks, or months. I forget about the light. I forget that its always there. Surrounding me. Within me. Always.