It is ironic that a couple of days ago my post was about saying no and giving to myself, when today I ended up in a situation where I was stuck doing something I rather had said no to. There wasn't another option. Today wasn't my usual restoration Saturday. It'll have to be tomorrow. So today I tried to surrender and go with the flow. I allowed myself to be flexible rather than resisting the unplanned day.
My flexibility took me to a farmers market after work where I got lots of exciting fruits and veggies, such as: watermelon, apricots, peaches, apples, bananas, strawberries, grapes, blueberries, broccoli, and different green leaves. I drove home thinking about how this planet gives me such an abundance of support. It gives me so much nourishment. It doesn't ask for anything in return, it just keeps giving and giving. And I keep taking without enough awareness and gratitude. I get busy and I forget how blessed I am by the planet. I forget how much it needs my love, support, and gratitude in return.
After returning and enjoying some yummy fruits, I went for a walk and noticed more than ever how much litter there is on the sidewalks. I had a thought that I should pick it up, and then another that said "people passing by will think you're weird." Then I remembered this journey I'm taking a part in, so I did it anyway. And now I can't believe I haven't done this on every walk. Or every time I've seen litter. This is my home. This planet. This ground that I work on. It carries me everyday.
I felt it's gratitude. I don't care if I sound like a "hippy" or whatever. But I felt connected, like we were building a relationship. Myself and the earth. I felt like I was taking care of the kid in school that gets bullied, even though by doing so I didn't fit in with the cool kids.
My mind did wander into worries about what people passing by might have thought. That mental habit still came alive, but I was more aware of the benefit that the earth was receiving and deserving, as well as other potential positive results. Maybe someone saw me doing it and will be inspired to do it too. Or maybe someone drove home to tell their husband or wife how a weirdo was picking up garbage on the side of the road, and their kids overheard and start doing it too. The only thing that matters is that I stay true to myself. To what I stand for and believe in. That's all. This is another part of my courage practice.
I am aware and feel that it's my responsibility to take action, because through every transition in my life, this planet will always be my home, as long as I'm in this body at least. It will still hold me as everything changes, moves, grows, begins, and ends.
Like today, as I was picking up litter on a main road, cars and people kept passing by. Coming and going. It was all temporary and momentary, while at the same time there was a foundation. An unconditional promise to be loved and supported, in this lifetime. In this breath.
There's the earth and there's my own beating heart. Both need my loving attention and care just the same.