Sunday, August 9, 2015

Day 70- Busy

I skipped a few has me busy and in a very action oriented circumstance. Lots of changes are happening that call for lots responsibilities. Leaving my job, moving to California, changing my diet, needing to figure out my finances as far as loans and health insurance goes, selling my car. This week I'm taking care of three kids, 2 dogs, 1 parrot, and teaching yoga to 8 kids at a camp. I am busy. But I am being courageous and living and learning and growing in love with my self and the planet and all of life.  

Sometimes writing needs to be put aside. Sometimes it helps me but then other times it just feels like a responsibility that I don't really have time for. But for me it is a priority. It is who I am. A writer. I can't just dream about things and learn about the world and keep it inside. I have to get it out. 

Lately I've been discovering how to get myself calm in a new way. How to let go when my head feels heavy and my mind feels attached to worry. And really the answer is just becoming aware and than taking self-loving action immediately. Breathing helps. Praying helps. Believing that I'm already whole, safe, accepted, and loved helps. It is be truth, by the way. That we are already whole and healed. Anything that seems less, or anything that you feel your are lacking is only an opportunity to grow. And when you grow you are just stretching through your physical existence and coming back to your essence. Your being that existed before the human part did. And that being is your power, your healer, if only we could stand there and stay in that place and use it. It's a practice to get there and stay there. It's a commitment. It's a wild, transformative, worth while, beautiful journey. I am ON IT. 

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Day 65- Gratitude

Endlessly grateful 
I am for this precious life 
And for the joy it fills me with 
When I allow myself to be open 
For change to happen
For the Beauty of transformation 
It is happening 
And I'm not afraid anymore

Something beautiful is happening. 
Thank you, God. 

Monday, August 3, 2015

Day 64- Listening

I wake up as a floating empty piece of paper. I let the day write itself out. I just surrender and let go to the unknown. The mystery of the day. I stay behind it so I could watch it, so I can BE there. I don't try to control it with my mind or figure it out. I just focus on being with it, being a part of it, and trusting that by doing so answers will come. Answers will come. Yes. 

I wrote this two days ago in a state of confusion about my direction. That was then and this is now. Now answers are coming. 

Answers are coming and coming and coming and I am listening. 

I am listening. 

Sunday, August 2, 2015

Day 63- Learning

Life has had me busy lately. In my head and also in the world. Everything is good though. I feel like I'm getting healthier everyday and like I'm making significant improvements on myself in a beautiful holistic way. I'll start writing more soon. This has been so therapeutic for me to let go and express. But lately what I've been doing more of is taking in and learning. Learning. Lots of learning is happening.

Saturday, August 1, 2015

Day 62- Pause

Yesterday was about staying in peace. Today was about pausing and aligning. Tomorrow will be about letting go and being positive and present. Right now is about sleeping. Good night. :)

Friday, July 31, 2015

Day 61- Stay

Peace happens slowly 
It comes and it goes away
But sometimes it stays 

Thursday, July 30, 2015

Day 60- Worry Graduation

"It is almost as if a musician is trying to play a song on the piano, but someone else is holding their hand down on some of the keys. There is some space on the key board to create a musically satisfying tune, but not enough to create the beautiful symphony that he is capable of. The musician doesn't try to pick the hand up off the keys, because that man has won many of the same battles. He assumes he will win again, so what is the point. What the musician doesn't see is that he is the one who can create a symphony, and the hand holding it down is the one that is afraid to hear it."

I wrote this a year ago. I'm reading it now in fascination about my path and how I have increasingly found my power throughout this year. The power to remove the hand. To play the song of my heart without letting my mind hold me back. 

That hand wins sometimes. I listen to the voices that say I can't and I fall into a trap where I believe it. But I'm stronger now. I truly am. Maybe I'll lose my grip here, I don't know. All I know is that I've graduated from worrying about what might go wrong or what will happen if I do this or don't do that or say this or don't or whatever. I had my worry graduation. Yesterday or today I don't know when it happened I just know that it did. 

Today I celebrated. I created a day of laughing, dancing, loving, and of being present. I danced alone in my room with my windows open. I just don't care anymore. I just want to be free. I celebrated my graduation but also my life and just the joy of existence. It is a true joy and I am grateful. I am. 

Thank you.